Everyone talks about “the village,” but not many people talk about how hard it is to build one.

Especially as a mom.

Because building a village means letting your walls down. It means opening your life to people beyond small talk and surface-level connection. It means inviting others into your home, your routines, your chaos- and trusting them with the parts of your life that aren’t polished or put together.

And that’s not easy.

It’s easier to stay guarded. To keep things light. To convince yourself you don’t need help or community. But the truth is, villages aren’t found – they’re built. And they’re built through intentional, sometimes uncomfortable choices.

For us, that meant welcoming people into our lives as family. Not because we shared last names, but because we shared time, values, and a willingness to show up for each other. To be clear this “village” that you create doesn’t replace the family you’re born into but yet expands what family looks like.

Building this kind of village takes courage.

It takes saying yes when it would be easier to say no. It takes inviting people in even when your house isn’t perfect. It takes trusting that the right people will meet you with grace of judgement.

And slowly – almost without realizing it – it starts to happen.

Kids grow comfortable together. Adults step in without being asked. Belonging begins to feel natural instead of forced. But this kind of community doesn’t come without risk. There’s vulnerability in opening your heart and calling people family. There’s the possibility of being hurt. Of being misunderstood. Of things not always working out the way you had hoped.

Still, we’ve learned that the reward far outweighs the risk. Because when you build a village, you’re giving your kids something powerful: a sense of belonging that extends beyond your own four walls. You’re showing them that family can be created, that love can be shared, and that life is better when it’s lived alongside others.

This village we’re building didn’t happen by accident. It grew through shared time, shared life, and a whole lot of choosing each other. And while it took bravery to open the door, I am so grateful every day that we did.

If you’re longing for community but feel stuck or unsure how to begin, know this – you’re not alone. Start small. Invite one family in. Say yes to connection. Let the walls come down a little at a time.

Villages are built slowly. And they’re always worth it!