This story takes place the summer of 2023. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
As a family of four, we’ve taken a whopping handful of vacations in the four years we’ve had the boys. The first was an 8-hour road trip to New Mexico when they were just 9 months old (because we like to live dangerously). The rest? A few short hops to Dallas — 3.5 hours tops.
So naturally, we decided to really go for it: a 10.5 hour drive to Colorado to visit my in-laws.
Our grand plan:
- Leave Wednesday after I got out of school
- Drive a few hours, stay the night in Kansas
- Finish the remaining 8 hours the next morning
- Easy, right? (Famous last words.)
🏨 The Hotel That Time (and Light Bulbs) Forgot
As the passenger, I had one job: find a cheap hotel with a pool open late so the boys could swim before bedtime. Normally I splurge on hotels (because I like clean bedding and functioning plumbing), but we were only staying one night, so I decided to go budget-friendly.
I found one with incredible photos — think fake grass around an indoor pool, string lights, palm trees, balconies… It looked like a tropical island inside a hotel. The rooms looked decent too. What could go wrong?
Spoiler: Everything.
🛑 Red Flags on Arrival
They couldn’t find my reservation (even with a confirmation number).
The glass elevator to the 5th floor opened into the parking lot.
None of the lights worked… except the one in the bathroom and the one by the door (which didn’t light the actual doorway).
But hey — the pool was amazing. The boys had a blast. Small win.
🚿 Shower Time = Disaster Time
Then came showers. All four of us jumped in to rinse off… in theory.
Problems:
- The tub didn’t drain
- The hotel provided two towels — for four people
- Those towels were roughly the size and texture of sandpaper hand towels
- Shampoo? Nope. Luckily I had some.
Somehow we all got out, dried off using the “towels,” and got into PJs. Then…
My husband flushed the toilet.
And the bathroom sink turned on.
Yes, flushing the toilet activated the sink like it was some kind of carnival plumbing trick.
🛏️ Sandpaper Sheets & Paint Roulette
We each took a kid and climbed into the beds… which, surprise, also felt like sandpaper.
The next morning, daylight revealed a new horror: mismatched paint all over the walls, with roller streaks that screamed “I gave up halfway.”
At checkout, we went in search of the highly advertised free breakfast.
- The man at the desk told us it was on the 6th floor (???)
- We got up there and found:
- Cereal — but no milk
- Cold eggs — but no silverware
- Coffee — but no cups
- A fruit bowl — but no fruit
So… we left.
🚻 Roadside Target Bags: A Parenting Essential
Fifteen minutes into the drive, Ryder announced he had to pee. So we pulled over, grabbed our trusty travel potty, lined it with a Target bag, and set him up for success… right there on the side of the highway.
Thirty minutes later:
“Mommy, I have to poop!” — this time from Skylar.
Another bag. Another roadside bathroom break. Parenting at its finest.
🧠 2 Hours of Talking. Zero Stops.
Skylar talked for two hours straight. I turned on my phone hotspot, handed over his tablet, and we got maybe 90 minutes of peace.
Ryder managed a solid nap. Slylar? Slept about 30 minutes. In 10.5 hours.
We finally rolled into Colorado late in the afternoon. The second we got there?
Ryder got car sick and altitude sick.
Because obviously.
🏔️ Welcome to Colorado: Day 1 of Vacation
Here’s hoping the rest of our “relaxing” vacation is a little less… eventful.
But if not? At least I packed more Target bags.
#TwinsTendersAndTeaching #RoadTripChronicles #HotelFail #MomLifeUnfiltered #FamilyVacationReality
Twins Tenders and Teaching 
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